weeds

What I learned today...

I really don't mind grading papers, sometimes the answers are sadly entertaining, other times they're downright pitiful. Occasionally they are insightful.

I really need to stop forgetting so much. Seriously. My mind doesn't hold onto anything any more. It's really frustrating. I write notes to myself all over the place, on my hands, my arms. I keep track of activities in my daily planner. I can't remember appointments. Things I need at the store. Did I take my meds (thank god for weekly pill cases)? What was that book I just read all about? Anyway it's more than annoying.

I need to keep examining my motives closely. There are many things I do just out of habit. I need to question my knee-jerk reactions. Focus on today and whatever you need to do to get to your '...happily ever after.'

I'm, of course, thinking constantly about my love. I want to hit the fast forward button until we are together again- for good. I know I need to be enjoying the journey. I know that's really important for me to do. It's one of the things I do to take care of myself. It's just really hard when there is this constant 'hurry up, hurry up, hurry up!' running through my brain. I miss him so much! I've missed him so much. (Geez two commercials back to back that used Cat Stevens music in their backgrounds.) Anyway...I'm still in slight shock because of his presence in my life. I mean I gave up on US a long time ago. I knew there was no hope of an US again. I did go on, I did fall in love again- but it was never the same as it felt with him. When he originally contacted me through Facebook, I just held my breath. June 15, 2009 will always be remembered.